My surgery date has been set for January 26 – exactly 2 1/2 weeks from now. While I am doing a pretty decent job at being quite ‘Zen’ about it, the fact remains that I wish it would just get here so that I can begin healing.
How does one patiently await a surgery when she struggles with anxiety? How does she keep her spirits up and keep the negative thoughts out? For me, it helps to have little notes like this posted in various spots around the house:
I like being prepared. I find it helpful to know what to expect so I can better deal with problems as they arise instead of being surprised buy them. However, trying to do research on the Internet about labral tear and rotator cuff repair surgery has provided nothing but horror stories so grand that some people suggest that gnawing off one’s arm as a better alternative to surgery. I continue to be amazed by peoples initial responses when finding out that I am heading in for an operation. I’ve had several acquaintances use phrases like,
‘Wow – that’s an incredibly painful recovery.’
‘it’s so frustrating, you’ll feel like you will never get any better.’
‘A friend of mine had it and he said it was excruciating!’
Not the greatest of pep talks, are they? I have had some people share their own personal stories, giving me straight up facts balanced with positive words and for that I am greatly appreciative. I have decided from this moment forth though, that I am going to rely on my physical therapist as my sole provider of information, and I’m fine with it.
In the meantime, I have my watercolor and acrylic paints to keep me company and my mind occupied. Paint has a way of calming my anxiety like salve to a sore.
My series for 2015 consists of spirit animals and right now I’m working on a grizzly bear. I am also playing with time lapse video! Here is the beginning stage of my bear – about an hour and a half worth of work condensed into a 31 second clip: