Ready. Or, not.
Remember when I first started my blog and my Comfort Zone Challenges consisted of things like talking to strangers at the store or eating out by myself? Ah, the Good Ole’ Days. I would seriously do either of those things with gusto right now instead of taking a major step outside of my comfort zone tomorrow by attending my first art fair as a fine artist. *Breathe IN – Breathe OUT*
Repeat as many times as necessary without passing out.
The truth is, when I agreed to do this fair I never dreamed how hard it would be to prepare for. I am near complete exhaustion and can only hope that by morning a sudden rush of adrenaline kicks in so that I can survive the day.
But, that isn’t even the part that really concerns me. You know those dreams where you’re standing in front of your class buck naked? Yeah, I’m feeling more or less like that. Stripped of any protective cushion between me and the public. Why do I keep thinking that I’m going to be part of a one day only attraction at the zoo?
I realize that all of this is fear based.
I understand that this will get easier over time.
I comprehend the fact that tomorrow should be my pay-off for working so hard over the past couple of months.
Hopefully that will happen. Until then, I’m doing the deep-breathing thing and trying not to think about it. That, and trying not to get too crazy about the fact that my house looks like an art store threw up in every room. Here’s just the tiniest sliver of what part of my family room looks like. I’m too embarrassed to show you the rest:
Thanks for allowing me to freak out. I am dropping everything right now to take the dogs for a walk. While I’m out there I’m going to think about everything else that has caused me to reach beyond my comfort zone and remember how once the event was over, I was very glad that I did it. Then I will come home, take another deep breath – and have a bucket of wine.
Just kidding about the wine. All we have is scotch.