Fat Girl Wearing Thin

Life beyond the loss.

   May 10

Gratitude Photo Friday

You may remember reading about my recent altercation with a certain male duck who was trying to mate with a female while she was tending to her young. After that evening Mama and ducklings just disappeared – like, for days and days. I found myself worrying a bit;  then yesterday here they came, swimming downstream. I grabbed my camera and snapped a quick photo; my Gratitude Photo of the Week.

…the past three weeks have been a blur since Craig first came home from work with a tremendous pain in his side.  Since then we have seen countless doctors and he’s had numerous tests, only to show – nothing.  We’re both convinced that he has a hernia.  Convincing the surgeon our assumption without actually seeing it via ultrasound or feeling it is quite the hurdle.

Those who ask if Craig is feeling better might be starting to think I’m a bit off my rocker when I tell them that we’re keeping our fingers crossed for another major abdominal attack.  The truth is, while he was home he didn’t eat anything solid and he rested.  Symptoms eased up considerably.  As a result, what doctor is going to do something drastic like exploratory surgery when the patient is feeling a bit better?  so, as of Tuesday, Craig was told to head back to work and resume normal activity, which he did; and the last three days have been miserable.  Symptoms are returning. 

So, we continue to wait.  At least until his follow-up with the surgeon next week. 

…with Craig home I barely had time to paint.  I wanted to complete the second painting in a series of Seasons I’m doing that features the same tree.  Since Craig went back to work I was finally able to call it finished.  I’m sneaking this photo is as another gratitude photo – as in, ‘I’m so grateful that it’s done!’  lol

Title:  “Summer” Mixed Media.  Size:  16×20

Mixed Media, size 16x20 


This one was time consuming. Each leaf is made from paper.  I bent and glued each one by hand.  The butterflies are also papers that’s been delicately folded and glued to the canvas.  I’m grateful to feel like I’ve accomplished something this week. Next up in the series will be Autumn, and I will wait to work on that until mid-September, probably. 

My eating has been a bit challenging with Craig home.  Again, stress has taken a passenger seat right next to me and has been trying to control my every move.  I’ve been at this long enough to understand what’s happening:  I’m seeking food to quiet the stress/anxiety that’s been building up inside me, and food is ready to take on that responsibility.  Why can’t I crave carrots or celery when I’m under stress?  No, I have visions of lemon bars and homemade cookies always in my head.  I’ve been trying to curb those yearnings with my favorite dessert teas from David’s Tea but even David can’t contain this kind of anxiety.  So, I go outside and do yard work, walk the dogs and figure out my next painting.  Does it distract me?  Yes. Enough to quiet the cravings/reduce the stress? No.  But I’m trying and that’s all I can do.  Until we find out what’s up with Craig I’m just going to have to muddle through like I always do and remind myself that there will always be a crisis to overcome; if I relied on food to comfort me every time that happened I’d be right back where I started at 230+ pounds. 

Something I’d like to end with, just because it made me so incredibly happy to read – my friend Laurie who is also a Fleet Feet trainer (remember the interview I did with her?) recently finished a half marathon in Louisville, Kentucky.  When she last wrote to me she told me that she ran a mile for me.  For ME. I kind of choked up when I read that.  No one has ever done that for me before.  Thank you for that, Laurie. 

Have a good weekend, everyone. 


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  1. Laura N says:

    your painting is so beautiful, Ellen. I’m glad you explained the paper leaves & butterflies. not sure I’d have noticed they were paper.

    hope you find answers for your husband soon. I understand the stress/anxiety thing, and no matter how you distract yourself, it’s still there, and the call of food is ever present. sounds like you are doing a good job dealing with it.

  2. I understand kind of “hoping” for another flare-up. It’s so much easier to handle what we KNOW. Here’s hoping you get answers soon…

  3. Val says:

    I pray Craig gets some answers soon…

    & here’s something humorous, speaking of ducks:


    (Z & I have been working our way through the True Facts series but so far our favorite is the tarsier!)

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