Late last week I finished writing my guest post for Katie over at Runs For Cookies. It had been a very long time since I’d written something lengthy about my thoughts on maintenance for a new audience. I debated on whether I should just concentrate on a specific topic for her readers, or touch on several things so they would get to know me a bit better. I finally chose the latter, and I’m happy with the way it turned out, though I think some might find it a tad long for a blog post. What can I say, I’ve got a lot to say on the subject!
There was something I noticed while writing that I had to stop and study for a moment before choosing to leave it in the post, and I have to tell you – what I wrote not only surprised the hell out of me, but the fact that I felt confident enough to leave it in has absolutely changed me.
This is the final paragraph of my post. It reads,
One final thought: you may have heard maintainers say that it’s harder to keep the weight off than it is to lose it. I completely agree with that statement. I used to be terrified that I was always one cookie away from gaining all 100+ pounds back. These days however it’s all about teaching myself to SIT. Stay In Today. The past doesn’t matter; it’s the present that counts. Today is all I have, and I do what I can – here in the moment – to continue improving my life. That’s all any of us can do, really.
…a little less emotional baggage these days, perhaps?
Did you all catch the part that I ‘used to be terrified that I was always one cookie away from gaining all 100+ pounds back?’ As I finished writing those thoughts I sat with that sentence for a long while. I kept wondering if I should find another phrase. ‘Used to be…’ referred to a feeling I wasn’t currently experiencing. Was it really possible that I was no longer as fearful of becoming ‘the old me’? If this were true, I’d just stumbled across something I should have already recognized as a major shift in confidence. Instead, it took Katie’s request and my willingness to revisit that part of my life to see that the fear I’d been carrying for the last 8 years has truly diminished – considerably so.
I am still processing this whole thing, but I intend to explore it further and find out what brought about this change within me. I have a couple of ideas that I’ll share when I completely understand them myself, but for now I just wanted to share these thoughts with you because they are new and exciting, and it feels as though a nearly decade long burden has been lifted from my shoulders. For the first time since the inception of this blog, I do believe I’ve had a Maintenance break-through.
…many thanks to Katie for helping me sift these thoughts to the surface, and to Roxie for introducing me to SIT – Staying in Today. That tool has been invaluable to me. Keeping myself in the moment, not worrying about the future or wallowing in the past is some good medicine if you’re up for it.
Have a great Monday, everyone. Please feel free to check out my post on Katie’s blog. Ellen’s Guest Post on Runs For Cookies.