Last week I received an email from a woman who’d seen the featured article about my weight loss in Woman’s Day Magazine. She was writing to let me know that she enjoyed reading the piece about me but was a little confused about my blog. The mention of my blog in WD along with title, she suggested, led her to assume my blog’s writings were heavily based on weight loss and maintenance but the majority of my posts proved otherwise.
She wasn’t being mean-spirited, just confused. I can’t say that I blame her and when writing her back, found myself reworking my email over and over again because I kept apologizing for not meeting her expectations. I didn’t have anything to apologize for really, but something inside left me feeling a bit fraudulent.
It’s true that my blog has changed course over the past several months. I have written over 420 posts since establishing it in late 2010 and in the beginning I had no problem at all writing about weight loss, maintenance, nutrition and exercise. I had a lot to say, and I was grateful to have a platform for which to write about such topics. Honestly speaking, I’m very proud of many of the posts I’ve written here. Some of the best writing I’ve ever done has been here on this blog. But once you’ve written about something from every possible angle, what’s left?
A lot, apparently. Some of my favorite weight loss/maintenance bloggers find a way to bring useful and interesting information to their blogs day after day and I very much admire that ability. Writing a blog is not easy. Writing a well thought out, topic-driven blog is extremely hard work and takes a lot of dedication and persistence. When a blogger is in the ‘flowing’ part of the ebb and flow of life – the coveted sweet spot if you will, there’s nothing better. But when one is stuck in the ‘ebb’ (the depleted slump which defines me right now) it’s a definite struggle to bring something of interest to the table. I sometimes feel as though I’m doing a disservice to my readers.
My enthusiasm has waned since my life came to a complete standstill last June. My plan of being completely recovered and living a full life after my hysterectomy came to an abrupt halt when my relatively quiet back decided to surprise me with this major flare-up. For the past several weeks as new treatments prove unsuccessful I am left feeling physically broken; I am emotionally tired and I am extremely frustrated – none of which I care to write about on this blog.
In these next few months before my blog comes up for its third annual renewal, this writer will need to decide where she fits in.
Am I a weight loss maintainer? A painter and small business owner? Will I be a chronic pain sufferer?
Perhaps many or all of those things – just not so much a fat girl wearing thin, anymore.