Fat Girl Wearing Thin

Life beyond the loss.

   Jan 18

Hate Loss Challenge Week Three: Acceptance


This next exercise is more of a topic for you to think about and ponder for the week.  The subject is Acceptance. 

There are several types of patterns that low self esteem allows into our lives:

1. depression

2. mood swings

3. eating disorders

4. loneliness

5. withdrawal

6. anxiety

7. stress

8. unhealthy relationships

Having a healthy sense of self esteem brings happiness, contentment, peace, pride and joy. We can learn to create a healthy sense of esteem if we choose to have acceptance in our lives.

Acceptance is a controversial word for some in the weight loss community. To some, acceptance means ‘resigning to what is’.   Example:  Being asked to accept myself is like saying I should never strive to improve upon areas I see as a problem..  To me, that means the same as giving up. 

A good description regarding Acceptance comes from a book 10 Simple Solutions For Building Self Esteem by Glenn R.  Schiraldi, P.H.D.  In it, the author states:

“Acceptance means ‘to take in or welcome’.  To accept then, is to see clearly and with full awareness the good and the bad, suffering and joy as part of life, and to experience life without battling, insisting that things be different or immediately trying to change or fix or get rid of the present distress.  When we accept guests into our home, we receive them with pleasure just as they are.  When we accept ourselves, we experience ourselves with a similar, welcoming attitude.” 

Dr. Schiraldi makes an excellent point.  Acceptance does not mean resignation.  It simply means that we see things as they currently are, and here is the most important part: when the decision to act becomes clear then we can also act with acceptance and without resistance. 

When we release our death grip on control, we gain a greater sense of accepting what is; then we can make the decision to change the things that no longer serve us. 

This next week I challenge you to think about what it is you accept in your life.  If you are able, put it into words for next week’s group therapy. 

Some motivational quotes to help you along the way this coming week: 


“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.”
~ Michael J. Fox


“Acceptance means events can make it through you without resistance”

~Michael Singer


“Love is made up of three unconditional properties in equal measure:
1. Acceptance
2. Understanding
3. Appreciation
Remove any one of the three and the triangle falls apart.
Which, by the way, is something highly inadvisable. Think about it — do you really want to live in a world of only two dimensions?
So, for the love of a triangle, please keep love whole.”

~ Vera Nazarian


Also, how is the 31 Days of Gratitude coming along?  We are 2/3 of the way through and I’d love to hear how it’s affected your January so far!

Have a great weekend!


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  1. FABULOUS post…you know I agree…and am glad for the expert opinion, too.

  2. Brenda says:

    This weeks exercise goes perfect with my yesterdays post. Your last quote is the one that grabbed me.

    Loving my gratitude journal. Only 1 day did I have to really stop and come up with something to be grateful for. It happened to be “one of those days”.. after I wrote my entry for the day in, I went back and glanced over my previous entries. Put a smile on my face. Already forgot a couple of the earlier ones so was glad to have them jotted down.

    • Ellen says:

      I think on ‘those days’ is when the Gratitude Jar/Journal comes in handy the most. That’s when we need the most reminding of what we do have in life. Thank you for sharing that!

  3. Hanlie says:

    This exercise is very timely for me, as I’ve been pondering resistance and acceptance all weekend. To me you are the teacher that appears when the student is ready.

    The gratitude jar has been such a blessing. It’s forcing me to take stock of my day every evening and in the process a lot gets put into perspective. I have so much to be grateful for. And somehow the negative things become teachable moments.

    • Ellen says:

      I am so happy to hear that, Hanlie. Although I have to say – I am learning as much if not more from those who are committed enough to agree to participate in these exercises. Every week I find out something new and realize that we are all in this together with very similar feelings, thoughts and insights. Discussing these issues is so helpful to one another.

  4. Beth says:

    I find that in keeping a gratitude jar, I am looking every day…seeking some little thing to be greatful for. When I drive by the laundry mat I am greatful for something as silly as having my own washer and dryer. When a kid is really naughty at school I am thankful that my own children are good kids. When I watch these silly girls on the bachelor, I am so greatful I don’t have to date! LOL. I find that I am always searching for little things each day to be thankful for…and today, with it being a wind chill below 0 degrees here in Michigan, I am greatful for a warm home and a cozy couch and blanket!

    • Ellen says:

      I do the exact same thing, Beth. I save my thought until it’s almost time for bed and then I write it down. Throughout the day I look for things that I consider adding to it – and I think it’s all part of the process that gets us into the habit of feeling grateful all the time. The fact that you’re thinking about what you are grateful for several times a day is really an awesome thing :)

  5. Brandi says:

    I have always had a hard time accepting me for me. When I have this kind of attitude I find that even the small things about myself bother me. Staring this challenge has really forced me to see me as God sees me. Beautiful (and not on the oustide).
    I love the idea that if we stop, accept where we are at, the things that need to change to bring about a positive acceptance become clearer. :)

  6. […] this weeks exercise is all about Acceptance.  Not necessarily giving in or admitting to some sort of failure in […]

  7. […] is the third of our Hate-Loss Challenge’s Therapy Thursdays, and our challenge for this week was acceptance. To think about what we accept […]

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