Fat Girl Wearing Thin

Life beyond the loss.

   Dec 04

They can’t all be winners

Have you ever been waiting at say, the doctor’s office or hair salon, and suddenly find yourself wanting to commit a crime?  Me – all the time.  Not by causing a scene of destruction because I’ve been waiting for over 10 minutes so WHAT IS THE HOLD UP??  kind of crime.  No, I mean stealing; as in, ‘Ooh, the recipe in this magazine must come home with me for I will try it and it will be the best thing I’ve ever created’.  Okay, it’s not the crime of the century but who hasn’t secretly wanted to deface a magazine in a waiting room, hmm???

However, I am a grown-up now and therefore a responsible part of this society.  I set a good example for the rest of the world and don’t give in to such urges anymore.  But three years ago – well, let’s just say I was at a bad place in my life.  I gave in to the seductive temptation of a recipe from a certain celebrity who shall remain nameless, though I don’t think it would hurt to give you a hint because we’re friends – (okay, you broke meit’s TiffaniAmber Thiessen)

This girl still looked amazing, even though her Saved by the Bell years were long behind her.  And according to Tiffani, her Cinnamon Oatcakes would make me smile because of the oats’ B-Vitamin trigger production of serotonin AND keep me feeling full for a super long time.  You can see why I caved and gave in to the temptation, right?  Happy and Full?  Sold!

In my defense, the magazine was older than the hills and had already been ripped apart in so many sections, I seriously doubted if anyone would ever have known it was there in the first place.  At least that’s what I tell myself so I can sleep at night. 

I did the dirty deed and quietly ripped out the bottom left side of the magazine, making sure to cough with each tear of the paper so no one would notice (does that even work?) and tucked the tattered edged recipe with Tiffani’s smiling face into my purse. 

And then forgot all about it. 

For a really, really long time. 

In fact, I came across it just the other day and thought, ‘oh, yeah…..’ and knew that I had to try it for Craig since he was on vacation. Really, I should be saying that I tried it ‘on’ Craig.  I would have eaten it myself, but I’m used to eating things that normal people wouldn’t touch with a 10 foot pole, so I figured he’d be a better judge.  Here is the famous recipe that I broke the law to get: 

Cinnamon Oatcakes

  • 2 cups rolled oats
  • 4 egg whites
  • 1/1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • Vegetable oil cooking spray
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
  • 1/2 cup sliced strawberries

Mix first three ingredients together in a bowl.  Then create 4 individual oat ‘patties’ and place them onto a skillet lightly dusted with cooking spray.  Cook for 10 minutes, turning once.  Transfer to a plate and top with applesauce and strawberries.  Serves 2

Total calories per serving:  454 calories, 7 grams of fat, 75 grams of carbs, 12 grams of fiber and 22 grams of protein. 

Here is how mine turned out, minus the strawberries because we didn’t have any.  I did however, add cinnamon to the top of the applesauce. 



You wouldn’t think that 4 egg whites would be enough to keep a bunch of rolled oats together, but oddly enough, they did – in fact, they stuck like glue.  I placed Craig’s serving in front of him and watched as he bit into his first piece all the while eyeing me oddly before finally asking, ‘Why aren’t you having any?’  Silly Craig.  He already knew the answer to that.  “Because,” I said.  “I don’t trust myself to contribute an unbiased, objective opinion when all I can think about is the need to tweak that recipe with brown sugar, raisins and flour and turn the whole thing into one big giant oatmeal cookie.” 

Satisfied with that answer, he dug in, as I ate a bowl of regular oatmeal and some Fage yogurt with granola.  Half way through breakfast I could tell something wasn’t quite right.  He left the table and headed into the kitchen, bringing back a single serve of applesauce and plopped it onto the remaining oatcakes.  I was going to ask how it was but since he kept eating, I thought it was best to just keep my mouth shut.

When breakfast was over and we stacked our dishes, I couldn’t resist any longer.  “So……how were they?” I asked. 

“You can tell your readers that they were a little dry,” he said with a raspy voice while reaching for more coffee. “I’m sure they’ll keep me full for a while, but they have a dry, chewy texture to them that I just couldn’t get past.” 

“Then why did you finish them?”  I asked.  He replied with the same answer he always gives when I try out recipes that scream Epic Fail“If I didn’t make it, I have no right to complain about it.  They weren’t inedible, just not……good, that’s all.” He was right.  I snuck in a few bites while he was rooting around the cupboards and they were rubbery. Aside from the applesauce they were practically tasteless.

If you’ve tried this recipe or are one of those few miraculous folks that can make the best food out of a nearly empty kitchen, I welcome you to try and liven up this recipe without adding too many calories and let me know if there is a way to improve upon them.  If not, it’s back to oatmeal in a bowl; not that there’s anything wrong with that. 



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  1. Kyra says:

    It’s pretty close to the pancakes I try to make. If you add in some water, vanilla and FF cottage cheese, in a blender – you get yummy pancakes!

  2. Caron says:

    One of my favorite recipes (Zucchini Chips) was taken from a Cooking Light magazine while visiting Barnes and Noble. I didn’t tear it out, but I did sit and copy it onto a scrap of paper I had in my purse. :)

    • Ellen says:

      You know, I never do things like that! I don’t know why I thought I had to have that recipe. Or, why I didn’t just ask someone for paper and pen. My weak moment. Zucchini Chips would be one of those recipes that I’d have to have, too. That sounds GOOD!

  3. Val says:

    heh heh – you keep on chokin’ down that horse feed; I’ll stick to my bacon & eggs! 😉

  4. Beth says:

    I’ve taken pictures of recipes before with my phone camera!

  5. I might possibly have maybe taken a recipe or two in my past (but only from an old magazine), but now I go the photo route.

    As for the oat patties, if you added a blob of greek yogurt, you’d have my oatmeal pancake recipe (which I adapted from someone else’s recipe.)

  6. I am LOLing at your definition of “crime.” You’re just like me…knowing we’ll get caught for something everyone else does with impunity!

  7. Vickie says:

    Same therapist, old office, has a sign posted that says – ask us to make a copy, do not rip out pages.

    Everywhere else, if there is nothing on the backside and it is old, like you, I tear it and take it.

  8. Mary says:

    I used to make those “pancakes” all the time! To tell the truth, though, I got the recipe from Hungry Girl, who uses it as a faux crust for this recipe she tries to pass off as a pizza substitute [http://www.hungry-girl.com/newsletters/raw/1197]. I liked it better sweet than savory!

  9. LauraJayne says:

    Story of my baking life! I kind if want to try them now, just because I can’t figure out how they would even work!

  10. Hanlie says:

    I have felt tempted to take the WHOLE magazine on occasions. I never have, of course. I suppose asking for a photocopy is the polite thing to do.

  11. debby says:

    First, that is a TON of oats for a single serving! So to make the most delicious pancakes, 1/3 cup each of egg whites, oats, and cottage cheese. You can add some vanilla, splenda, cinnamon, or a little salt if you want. Whir them all in the blender. The most delicious pancake ever!

    Yes, I’m a recipe on a scrap of paper person. Although I’m very sure I have committed that crime in my past.

  12. Lynn Bonelli says:

    Being a “rule follower” like you, i have to admit that I have taken entire magazines from my former place of work. BUT in my defense, it seemed that no one EVER threw the old copies away. So, I’d take Outside Magazine issues that were already months to a year old. And maybe I’ve taken one or 2 from the hospital but I also have donated my old ones to them too (so that cancels eachother out, right?).

    As far as oatmeal…not a fan of the ‘pancake’ when the oats are whole. But I do LOVE overnight oats. They are my favorite! =)

  13. Marion says:

    Hi Ellen! Read a bunch of your posts, and you can do side crow! Woohoo! I love doing side crow.

    Your post is a funny story, which reminds me why I just stick with oatmeal. It fills you up and doesn’t have extra calories from oil.

    :-) Marion

  14. didi says:

    Those oat cakes make me think of rice cakes. Sometimes you see a lady eating something like that, but deep down you KNOW she’d rather me munching on something else. (Cover those things in brown sugar, honey, and berries, and then add a scoop of vanilla ice cream. That should be enough doctoring to cure such a boring recipe)

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