I’ve not had the experience of running into many celebrities here in Northern Indiana. Retelling a story about being less than three feet away from an award winning cow at the fair doesn’t garner much attention. (It’s probably because they think I’m bragging or something, so I just keep quiet about it.)
Actually, it’s probably better that I don’t have many chances of meeting famous people. I pay so little attention to media these days I probably wouldn’t recognize a celebrity even if their hair extensions hit me across the face. I’ve clearly stumbled into the Generational Gap Phenomenon. If I had to pick out celebrities in a lineup, here’s how it would go:
That’s Brad Pitt. I’d know his sweet cheeks anywhere! Win!
Hmm. I think I’ve seen that girl before. Isn’t she the one who cheated on her vampire boyfriend? Miley Whatshername? Epic Fail.
And here’s Julia Roberts. I loved that movie Sleeping with the Enemy. Did you know that when she was kicked in the movie, the guy who played her husband missed his mark and really kicked her? I know. I’m full of 90’s movie trivia. Win!
Hey! Isn’t that Grandpa from The Waltons? No it isn’t, because I’m pretty sure he died a long time ago. (Just wanted to see if you were still paying attention).
I don’t know if you remember my last celebrity meet-n-greet post. If you didn’t, click here to read it. Trust me, it will help you understand why I will not be trying out for any red carpet correspondent jobs any time soon.
Today’s story of my latest celebrity run-in happened when I was boarding a small plane (as in a row of four seats across with a tiny aisle between them) at our local airport. As I was heading to my seat, a man turned around to come back up the aisle because he needed to talk to the flight attendant. Now, for those of you who don’t know, I am short – as in 5 feet 2 inches, so I can generally maneuver in and out of spaces pretty easily. So confident was I in my tiny space that I ducked into an empty pair of seats to let the man pass. Before I go any further, let me just mention one other thing about being short: we tend not to look above our line of sight. If it’s not right in front of me or lower, chances are it doesn’t exist. So, I of course did not notice that the ceiling to the plane resembled a triangle: highest in the aisle, and two sharp angles downward along either side.
As I quickly sidestepped to the right, my head hit the side of the plane which sounded like a gong in a monastery. You could feel and hear the vibration as it rumbled to the back of the plane. Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and stared at me, probably waiting to see how long it would take before I knocked myself out cold.
The man two row ahead leaned forward and said, ‘Are you all right?’ Totally embarrassed and completely void of anything witty to say, I quietly replied, ‘Oh, I’m just fine, thanks!’ before looking up to see the man’s face. It was…..are you ready? Joe Namath, the football player. Wow. I thought. Joe Namath just asked me if I was all right. What’s Joe Namath doing in Northern Indiana? Who cares? It’s Joe Namath! Craig is going to get a kick out of this! I think I’ll call him when we land, if I don’t bleed out by then!
So, I make my way down the aisle and there is a nice man who lets me by so that I can have my window seat. When we both sit down, we make small talk about where he’s going and where I’m going and where I can find good seafood in Seattle. Suddenly and out of nowhere, I become Little Miss Know-It-All. I lean in and say, ‘Hey, did you see Joe Namath back there?’ The man looks at me with a quizzical look on his face, turns around to look at the man and then looks back at me. “You mean, that guy?” and pointed over his shoulder.
Me: ‘Yeah, you know – Joe Namath, the football player?’ The man smiled and said, ‘From the New York Jets? That’s not Joe Namath – That’s Joe Montana, from the San Francisco 49ers.’
‘Oh, yes, of course,’ I laughed. ‘I was kidding. That’s who I meant.’
Let’s be honest; I was lucky to utter the full name of any football player. Yet, somehow at that moment, I was confident enough to think I could channel the Great Howard Cosell. Super. A double embarrassment before the plane even took off. Go Team Ellen. Rah-Rah-Rah.
Oh, well. I’m sure the only thing those passengers remember on that particular flight was that they were eternally grateful to the short woman who didn’t jinx the plane by plowing a giant hole into the ceiling with her big, rock-hard head. You, passengers, are quite welcome.
If you’re in the need for more celebrity run-ins, head on over to Laura’s blog to see which celebrity she met a few weeks ago while on a plane. Trust me – her experience was much cooler than mine. Have you met anyone famous? Would you be all cool and casual, like ‘they’d better not talk to me because I value my private time’ or would you be all, ‘Yes Mr. Clooney as a matter of fact I DO still have my restraining order so quit your worrying!’
Have a good weekend, everyone.