Once, Twice, Three times upside the head

I know you’ve done it before, too.  You’re reading blogs and you come across one that seems as though it was written specifically for you.  That happened to me when I sat down to read my friend Kyra’s blog last night over at The Never ending Adventures.  This was a milestone post because she unveiled a painting that she’d been working on since April.  Yes, April.  A painstakingly intricate, detailed labor of love that is now, finally complete. 

Kyra and I have communicated about this painting and other goings on in our lives, with one of us always wishing that certain things would just ‘happen already!’  But we both know from experience that anything worth doing is worth doing right.  What struck a chord with me was this particular sentence:    

How many things in our lives are we not giving permission to ourselves to spend the proper time on?

I think if I had a secret decoder I could wave it over that sentence and find an underlying message that reads:  Ellen, you big Goofball, why are you constantly fighting yourself?  You’ve already been down this road once – have you learned nothing?  (although Kyra would find a much gentler way of telling me, I’m sure of it). 

I have been through this before.  I took the slow and steady route of losing weight. The many years it took to lose over 100 pounds was the correct way for me and my life and I haven’t regretted it once.  In fact, taking my time and doing it slowly and naturally has, in part, been what’s helped me keep it off for over 7 years. 

But, since my surgery?  Yeah, you’d never know that patiently devoted person ever existed.  I have been having internal battles with myself for the past 4 months.  I’ve been at war with my body to heal faster; anxious for my new business to pick up speed; desperate to find direction and get moving already!! 

I’ve been so caught up in the ‘want it NOW’ mentality that I haven’t been appreciating the slow and steady route I’ve been granted which, by the way, has always proven to be the better choice for me.  (Sometimes a good thwack across the head is the only thing that will reset the brain).  Any takers?  lol

This week I’ve learned that no matter how quickly we want results, it just isn’t likely going to happen on our schedule.  Whether it be the desire for business success, weight loss or in my case in particular right now: physical strength.  We do what we can and have to let time run its course because really, we have no other choice. 

I received doctor results from my visit last week regarding my extreme fatigue.  Surgical menopause patients (those who go through the process surgically rather than naturally) are hit with the usual symptoms all at once instead of easing into it the old fashioned way.  As a result, we can go through radical side effects.  My fatigue is a direct result of my hormones being shifted so quickly and dramatically.  The doctor has given me new medication and I am praying to the Estrogen Goddesses that I will see improvement within a few weeks.  In the meantime, it’s slow and steady – and that’s all there is to it.  I must be willing to look at the progresses I HAVE made instead of the ones that will come in due time.  And really, if I want to be completely honest with myself – if my art business was a raging success like I dream about in my mind, I’d be too fatigued to keep up with it all right now, wouldn’t I? 

Speaking of art, here is this week’s painting.  I have been posting progress photos on my Facebook Fan page because I’ve found that not only do people like to see the creative process behind the finished piece, but it’s good for me to see that it takes patience and hard work to evolve into a beautiful and worthwhile sense of completion.  I think we can all relate to that on some level. 



…and speaking of art:  My friend Laura, who is another weight loss maintainer and an amazing athlete is holding a giveaway on her blog beginning today, AND she is giving away one of my enhanced art prints!   Head on over there to check it out the details!  You can find her fabulous blog over at Laura Lives Life.


Have a great weekend, everyone.  I hope it’s slow and steady :)

8 thoughts on “Once, Twice, Three times upside the head

  1. Roxie

    Thank you for sharing your creative process. I admire your talents.

    Yep, the look backward to view progress can be so insightful. I was looking back at some written journal entries from a while back and my main concern was my ability to survive (be safe). Now, that’s just a given and I’m in a “thriving” mode.

    1. Ellen Post author

      Nothing makes me happier than to know you’re in ‘thriving’ mode, Roxie. How empowering it is to be able to lay those insecure thoughts to REST.
      And lady, if anyone can survive, its you.

  2. debbyr

    Ellen, thanks for the links! I LOVE your forest birds autumn painting. I have it bookmarked! And I so enjoyed that time-lapse video over on Kyra’s blog.

    Yes, Ellen, slow and steady. Did the doctors warn you before surgery about the surgical menopause and the radical side effects? My guess is that they didn’t. If doctors told people all about what was going to happen after surgery, they might not have as many surgeries to do. On the other hand, sometimes doctors do give patients and families lots of information, but they are simply unable to process it because they are under so much stress.

    1. Ellen Post author

      Thank you, Debby. xoxo
      No, they did not tell me any of this. I was completely ignorant as to what I should expect. My theory is that if they tell their patients how to prepare, no one would ever agree to the surgery. Seriously! It’s been quite the learning experience. I just need to take my experience during my weight loss days and apply it here. I intend to make this a priority for myself.

  3. Hanlie

    I am so pleased to hear that you’ve found the cause for your fatigue and that you’re being treated for it now. Things should improve from now on! And yes, slow is good.

    I love your work!

  4. teresa

    when you link about having to go through all the menopause stuff that would normally take 10 years, longer?… all at once, it makes much more sense to be so fatigued.
    Hopefully it also means that once you’re through it you get a big benefit all at once too.
    I love seeing the process of the paintings.
    I’m going to see your friend’s blog now.

  5. munchberry


    If I worked on a painting for a half a year, I would have to chisel off all the paint from the canvas. Such impulse control!

    I like that the fence disappeared. Did I tell you that already?


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