Since Patty passed away I have been at her house per her family’s request to sort through clothes, wash items, clean linens, etc. I’ve gone every day for the last week and a half. Not until yesterday did I realize how mentally draining it is to be in her personal space while she is missing, yet feeling her presence everywhere. As of today, I’m officially resigning from that position.
Today I started packing.
My husband and I are going away for a few days. We are taking some time to readjust, refocus and allow ourselves a moment to walk away from the storm. Patty’s Memorial Service will be held the week before my surgery, just a few days after we get back. I will be speaking there and need some time to figure out what I could possibly say that would convey how much she meant to me.
We purchased our tickets for this trip many months ago – one of those ‘too good of a deal to pass up’ kind of sales. Until recently though, this vacation has been very unwelcome. The timing I thought, was terrible. Once I faced the decision of having the hysterectomy, I wanted to cancel the trip and have it done immediately.
But you know, if things had worked out that way I wouldn’t have been with Patty when she died. I never would have had the privilege of taking care of her at the end of her life because I would have been recovering at home. Now that she’s gone, having this trip land right in the middle of her death and my surgery is the biggest gift I could ask for; at times it’s been the only thing holding me together – so, I’m grateful to be going.
We are headed back to the beach. Where we do not intend to move from this spot, right here:
If I have time I will check in, leaving you with one of my favorite posts. If not, I’ll see you back here sometime next week.
Be good to you, and to everyone you love.
See you soon.