Hate-Loss Challenge Topic List: Week Three
As of today, we are just over halfway through with this challenge. I don’t know about you, but the posts I’ve read over the past two weeks have been so incredible to read, I’m speechless. All I can say, is: you brilliant, brave, beautiful women out there – the support you bring to this blog and to those who read your updates go beyond my biggest hopes. Thank you.
Weekly Topic List: Week Three
Today’s topic will begin with a couple of definitions:
The definition of Self-Esteem: a confidence in oneself, a satisfaction of what one is and the self respect that that confidence brings. It is the appraisal or assessment of a person on his self worth. It encompasses a belief about one’s capacity and worthiness.
The definition of Comfort Zone: 1) a behavioral state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk. 2) A situation or position in which a person feels secure, comfortable, or in control.
What do these two terms have in common, and how can one compliment the other? According to Dr. Robert Sherfield, author of the book Everything Self-Esteem: Healthy self-esteem is built on overcoming obstacles and moving beyond what is accepted or ordinary. It is built on overcoming your fears, insecurities, worries, and your own self-imposed limitations. In other words, we need to move beyond our world where everything feels safe, secure and comfortable; by motivating ourselves to step beyond what is snug and cozy, we get so much in return:
When we don’t challenge ourselves, we end up creating unconscious habits that end up running our lives; they chip away at our self-esteem. But, once we’ve stepped beyond our comfort zone, our world will never return to it’s original size – we will always be more than who we were before with one less fear to hold us hostage.
This week’s exercise: Between now and group therapy on Thursday, think about an activity that would challenge your comfort zone; then, confront that fear and do it. This is your challenge, so be as daring or as conservative as you want – but stretch yourself beyond what you think you can do. Can’t do the exercise because you can’t think of an idea? You’re in luck! I’ve thought of some for you (you’ll thank me later, I promise!)
- Wear something that you would not normally ever wear, and wear it for an entire day; or wear a hot pink or deep red lipstick instead of the low-key color you always wear.
- Pick a day and stop apologizing for things that do not need your apology.
- Commit to looking at everyone you communicate with directly in the eye for a day.
- Take a class at your gym that you’ve never taken before, even if it doesn’t seem interesting.
- Take a day and focus on being more assertive. Your opinion matters!
Fear is such a driving force. It can paralyze you. How many times have you regretted not doing something because of your fear? I was a living example of this for years and still have to force myself to try new things all of the time. Last year I made up my mind to face some of my fears. A few were small; others were a bit more challenging. Sometimes I succeeded and sometimes I failed, but this, I can tell you: I felt better about myself after having faced my fear. If you need some extra motivation for this exercise, I encourage you to read (or, reread) some of my comfort zone challenges over the past year:
Thought for the Day: Stepping outside our comfort zone can be extremely difficult because we feel strongly influenced by how other will see us. How would I look to these people if I do that? Don’t let the opinions of strangers rule your life when it’s your life you’re living.
Quotes of the Week:
Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone.
~ Robert Allen
We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.
~ Max DePree
Nobody ever died of discomfort, yet living in the name of comfort has killed more ideas, more opportunities, more actions, and more growth than everything else combined.
~ T. Harv Eker
This may be a hard one for some of you, but have faith in yourself. Look at what you’ve achieved so far this month; you can DO this!