Fat Girl Wearing Thin

Life beyond the loss.

   Dec 21

What I Don’t Want For Christmas

If you’re looking for last-minute gift ideas for the holidays, I’ve got something important to say to you!  Keep going!  Don’t slow down here to read this post!  Run.  Run fast I tell you!  For here is my second annual, What I Don’t Want for Christmas Post and boy, do I have some goodies for the ole’ rotten stocking this year.  

Oh, and don’t forget: each and every one of these items is actually for sale on the Internet.  Yes, really. 

Are We Ready? 










…and last but not least, the search for that one special ornament for your tree has been found I tell you!  I’ve always said, nothing says Christmas like hangin’ bacon.  


What was your, um…most interesting gift ever? 

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  1. Jill says:

    LOL! You crack me up! Love the banana holder comment! HAHAHAHA!
    I can’t think of my most interesting gift… there must be one… oh where is my mind these days???

  2. I was looking at old photos of our first Christmases together and my husband gave me a step stool. Which I guess was thoughtful; he’s tall and I’m short. He has given me at least 3 space heaters over the years. Again, in his mind, thoughtful. Yes I am cold because he keeps the temp set low! I’m never the one who uses any of the heaters.

  3. Hanlie says:

    Really, a banana holder? Handerpants? I think it’s time for the final curtain… The world has most definitely gone mad!

  4. Ewww…just the thought that someone out there is drinking liquids from a toilet cup is enough to make me gag. Though I do have to admit that I did get a little giddy about the bacon ornament! 😀 My in-laws got me bacon lip balm for Christmas last year. Sadly, it isn’t as tasty as you’d think!

  5. Caron says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha Love starting my morning with a belly laugh. :)

  6. Nice. Who thought that mug was a good idea? And come on, you gotta love all things bacon, right? :)

  7. Tim says:

    I was once given a ‘Screaming flying monkey’ as a present which is exactly what it says it is. Everyone found it funny the 1st time but after that it became the most hated present ever!


  8. munchberry says:

    Oh my GOSH those are funny.
    A side note: My SIL got tired of picking up her husband’s underwear and told him if he did not start picking them up she would do something to them. He ignored, she cut the crotches out of them.

    Let’s see… OK this was not for Christmas but for a wedding gift we got a cow hide covered tequila flask. it was shaped like a leg of a cow and had a hoof handle at the bottom. We have weird friends.

    • Ellen says:

      No so strange. My father had a flask covered in cow hide. Didn’t feel like stainless steel underneath, either.
      Love the story about the underwear. Was your SIL going through menopause at the time because I could totally see myself doing that out of a hormonal rage! lol

  9. No gift I ever received could come even close to those. Thank goodness! My strangest gift came from my mother. She gave my sister and me matching outfits–black leggings and polka dot tunics. Lots of siblings dress alike, but my sister and I were in our 30s at the time and didn’t really think much of the idea. :)

  10. Mo says:

    Where can I get one of those Banana Holders – too cool!! Not a Christmas Gift, but a blow up Banana – yes, had a college gag that went on for years!!

    Merry Merry to you – hope that your gifts are not too crazy or unusual this year.


  11. LauraJayne says:

    With the banana cover, I could safely put bananas in my purse for a mid-shopping snack… =)
    Love the list!

  12. NewMe says:

    Well, I’m late to the party, but Laura’s absolutely right! Banana holders are brilliant and useful. You can bruise a banana practically by just staring at it. Banana holders are perfect for lunch boxes or bags. They keep your little friend pristine until it’s time for lunch.

    Now, your other gifts…priceless!!

  13. Chelsey Sloan says:

    2 years ago my Dad (quite the funny guy) got my sisters and me matching Snuggies and Sham-Wows…it was an infomercial kind of Christmas….thanks Dad.

  14. Where the heck did you even find these things? I mean, did you google, “toilet mug” and “gloves that look like underpants”??

    Heeeeeee heeeeee…

  15. Hmmm, my kids would love the bacon ornament. What does that say about them/us/me???!!

  16. Paula says:

    OMG! To think someone may actually buy these items is really sad isn’t it?

  17. Jan says:

    Oh my word! This is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh! :)

  18. Grace says:

    So FUNNY. Thank you for making me smile this morning.

    On a side note regarding gifts…If I get one more pair of slippers from my husband this year, I will ask him for a divorce. (just kidding) :-)

  19. […] Annual ‘What I DON’T want for Christmas post.  I didn’t think I’d be able to top the handerpants from last year – you remember those, right?  underwear for your hands?  Well, I’ll […]

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