Three things on the Monday Agenda today.
First, my husband and I sat down to read all of your responses to my holiday dilemma post on Friday. I know I’ve mentioned this before but it never hurts to remind you that this blogger feels so deeply lucky to have the readers she does. Many good ideas were given along with loads of support and encouragement. What more could I ask for?
The one thing I’ve realized from your comments is this: I have been giving these holidays too much power over me. It took me all this time and my last post to realize that my anxiety and depression stemmed from the fact that I was relying on others to give me something that deep down I knew I’d never receive: expectations of having a normal, happy holiday season. Now I see that it’s up to me to carry out that desire, and it doesn’t have to mirror the slightest resemblance of a Martha Stewart Season. It can be whatever my husband and I want it to be. We’re currently throwing around some ideas and are also preparing ourselves for consequences; I’ve come to find that some people react negatively when others around them don’t act the way they’re expected to. In other words, we may not be the most popular kids on the block this year. That will be a challenge, but I already know that no matter what we do, we won’t please everyone, and after trying and failing to do just that all these years I think it’s time to start aiming at making ourselves happy.
Thanks everyone. Big hugs to each of you.
Next on the agenda: you may have noticed a new grab badge on my sidebar. If not, direct your eye off to the right for a moment or take a gander below:
For those of you who were with me at the beginning of the year, you already know about my Hate-Loss Challenge back in January. It began as a counterbalance to the Weight-Loss Challenges that many bloggers like to host after the New Year rings in. Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately and re-reading the entries from the participants. After it was over I received numerous emails from people who’d missed it, asking if I was going to bring it back at some point during the year. It brought me such pride and joy to see so many people embrace that challenge that I decided to host it again this coming January. Yes, I know I’m a little early, but I’m hoping my badge gives off a ‘Can’t Wait!’ vibe…doesn’t it kind of trick you into believing that something HUGE is coming?? Oh, and in case you’re wondering why the peacock? Ever heard the saying, ‘proud as a peacock?’ Well, this challenge is all about taking pride in ourselves, so it just made sense to me.
If you would like to know more about the significance of this challenge and why it’s different than any one you’ve ever considered, just click on the Peacock badge off to the right and it will take you to the information page. Scroll down to the title Hate-Loss Challenge. If you decide that you’d like to participate, you can grab my badge on the sidebar and help me spread the word. The code appears below the badge.
…lastly on today’s agenda is my email from Teresa at Good Day to Diet who honored me with the Blog On Fire Award:
It always makes me smile when a blogger peer honors me with an award, and for Teresa to think of me with this particular award is very kind. She’s such a beautiful person inside and out and is such an important part of this community so I’m doubly thankful. I will address this award and pass it along very soon!
I’m off to visit with a friend of mine this morning, then on to work. I hope you all have a great Monday.
XO,
~Ellen
First, congratulations on the blog award from Teresa. I commented on her blog that you were a perfect choice for this award, and it’s true.
I’m so glad you got a lot out of the responses you received about the holidays. As we get older and wiser, we learn that life is more about pleasing ourselves instead of pleasing others. Of course, that doesn’t mean we’re supposed to be mean-spirited and the like, but you know what I mean. And I heard that Martha Stewart’s daughter said they didn’t really even do much at Christmas.
That is so funny about Alexis saying that about their family. We all have these ideas that everyone else is having a better time than we are; if the Stewarts aren’t keeping it together, then I shouldn’t worry at all!
P.S. I see my new blog is listed on your sidebar blogroll — thanks dearie!
I’m glad you and hubby are committed to taking care of *your* needs, and I hope it leads to a most enjoyable holiday season!
Thank you, Cammy. We’re treading new waters, over here. We’ll see how things go!
Congrats on the award, Ellen! If any of us is deserving of blog awards, it’s certainly you!
Not sure if I’ll participate in the challenge or not, as I’m sure that I’ll even have the time or energy in January to remember that I am, in fact, a human being and not a zombie.
Good luck with the holidays!
You are TOTALLY excused from joining any future challenges – here or anywhere else, as far as I’m concerned. By then you’re going to be in full-swing ‘daddy’ mode and will have your hands full with lots of other types of challenges
Congrats on your blog award!
I am looking forward to hearing more about your holiday ideas for you and your husband. I am proud of you for your strength on going against the norm!
Thank you, Jill. This will definitely be a different year for us if we are able to pull this off. Just thinking about having more control over my situation brings me some peace about it.
I’m in! Posting the badge as we speak…
I’m glad you’re going to be doing something that feeds YOUR soul and meets YOUR needs these holidays. Way to go!
Congratulations on the blog award!
BIG grin over here, Hanlie – my FIRST participant!! Yay!
Our Thanksgiving is only 3 days away. I’m going to begin exercising my voice on that day and see how things go. If it gets too stressful, we will just excuse ourselves and head back home. A little nervous, but I’ve got to start showing some courage sometime on this issue.
I’m in too! Will grab the badge as soon as I am done commenting.
I’m glad you’re feeling at peace with your decisions re the holidays. Sure, others may be upset, but you know what? When you model taking care of your needs, you will be giving them permission to do the same…it’s so empowering, not just for you, but for them too. They very well may thank you for it when they get over their upset-ness. HUGS!
SO glad you’re joining in, Karen. You bring SO much needed perspective to this type of challenge and I’m grateful that I’ll have you along for support. You are a warrior in this area!
I really am feeling a bit more at peace. A bit. lol
Fact: I want you and your husband to spend A holiday with me and my family.
You are totally right – WE control how we feel about things. Maybe by creating new traditions and not feeling constrained by family obligations, etc, you can make your holidays perfect for you.
Second Fact: If you wanted a skiing vacation, Utah is supposed to be wonderful. And. I live here.
Laura, that is just about the best invitation I’ve ever received
And I’ve never been to Utah. Hmm……..
I’ll be taking part in this challenge, it’s something I pretty much need at the moment especially with all the issues with the ex. It was such a success last time, I’m looking forward to January!
I think around this time of year a lot of us are just ready to wipe the slate clean and start over – fresh. January is so good for things like that. Emotional baggage included.
Oh I’m so glad to hear about this Hate-Loss Challenge. I think that is INFINITELY more important than any weight loss — ever.
I also wanted to pop by and thank you for the moving mountains challenges that you let me participate in!
You may recall my goals were to progressively increase my bench press — I don’t know if you missed it, but about two weeks ago I posted a video of myself benching *135lbs* for 2 reps (and now I can do it for 4)! I think the moving mountains goals really helped me “make it” to that point!!!
Oh, I am SO THERE with the Hate-Loss Challenge. What a great idea. I’m conflicted about whether I should do it on my diet blog or mom blog actually. There are a lot of those Mom bloggers who might really appreciate it… Hmmm.. well I can spread the word either way and just see how it goes. I’ll write about it soon. I’m also hoping my husband might participate. It’s such an important idea and I think it might really help someone with depression to make a point of seeing the positive, if only long enough to write about it.
and thanks for the shout out… I’m all sparkly from your kind words… xoxo
HI Ellen. So glad to hear that over the holidays, you and your husband agree “it’s all about you and your needs”! Take care!!!!! LOVE the idea of the hate-loss challenge.