I’m here to attest that Comfort Zone Challenges do exactly what they’re meant to: push you beyond your edge of security so you can allow yourself to experience new and sometimes intimidating things. The outcome gives off a sense of accomplishment and pride, along with an I can do it! attitude.
One of my first comfort zone challenges on this blog was talking to strangers. As you may remember, it didn’t go as well as I’d hoped, but it did allow something else to happen: the exercise made the act of talking to strangers a bit easier each time the opportunity presented itself. It’s taken 11 months, but having consistently challenged myself in this area I can honestly say that I feel comfortable enough to walk up and talk to just about anyone without feeling anxious or shy. That is a huge accomplishment for me. (Between you and me though, after the booger incident happened, what’s left to be shy about?) So, the good news is that these comfort zone challenges work! The bad news is that when you’ve conquered one fear, you have to move on to challenging yourself in other areas. Well, I’m about to venture into another MAJOR Challenge, folks – and here it is:
Comfort Zone Challenge: Take a vacation without doing any pre-planning beforehand (other than having flight and accommodations figured out ahead of time.)
What’s so challenging about it: because I am a HUGE planner. A typical vacation for me usually consists of knowing beforehand where we should eat and what we should do once we get there. In other words, I plan, plan, plan. I want to make clear that I’m not one of those anal retentive planners who can’t go with the flow. I don’t laminate schedules and make sure that everyone has the day’s itinerary pinned neatly to their shirts (thank goodness I’m not ‘that’ girl!) It’s just that being prepared before my trip is like having a security blanket handy just in case I need it.
Why choose this for a challenge? I need to let go of the illusion that things will go the way I want them to just because I have a ‘plan’. My husband and I don’t get much time away together, so when we are lucky enough to get a vacation, I put way too much pressure on myself to make sure that everything goes perfectly. In reality, all it does is stress me out, and since I’m still in the process of eliminating negative and stressful situations from my life, this needs to be worked on.
So, what’s the plan? My husband and I are celebrating our wedding anniversary next week and will be traveling to the Gulf of Mexico to do some kayaking. He is a very easy-going guy who can adapt to almost any situation – which is why I adore him. We seem to even each other out. Since this is his vacation too, I brought up my idea of doing this challenge and asked his thoughts. His only requirements were that we get tickets in advance (a no-brainer) and that we have a place lined up to stay. I took care of both but again, I could have easily done hours of research about where the perfect place to stay would be. Instead, I chose a bed and breakfast (we hardly ever do bed and breakfasts) that has 4 rooms. That’s about all I know. (breathe, Ellen. Just breathe.)
We are leaving in a few days. Aside from purchasing tickets and knowing where we’re going to stay, I have refrained from doing any pre-planning or research on the Internet and it’s killing me, you guys; TripAdvisor is constantly beckoning me, calling me to their website – but I have NOT wavered. I am determined to spend this vacation throwing caution to the wind. Here’s my trip motto: we’ll figure it out when we get there (although I must admit that right now, this motto sucks the big one. As each day passes, I’m having more and more difficulty saying it and meaning it). I’m writing this out – here, and now to you – because I need to be held accountable and keep my word until we leave.
What I hope to accomplish: my biggest hope will be that if something doesn’t go right (delayed flights, bad weather, etc.) I won’t feel defeated by it because I will not have expected perfection in the first place. I want to come home saying to myself, ‘I had a great time because the only thing I concentrated on was the moment, NOT what I had planned – congratulations to me, because that’s how life is!’ Full report upon my return. Wish me luck.
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Speaking of anniversaries, I hope you enjoyed celebrating my first-year anniversary month with me. Thank goodness for Random.org – if I had to pick my own winners, I don’t think I could do it. I’m sure I’d personally reduce the Post Office’s debt problem by deciding to send a prize to everyone, no matter what side of the earth they lived on! It would have been fun, though. Maybe if I ever win the lottery. But until then……
……..Random.org had the task for choosing my final winner: Lucky Number 2, which is SAM! I personally think that Sam was destined to win that Camelbak bottle, because it just so happens that she was the very first blogger brave enough to add my brand new, very raw, unknown blog to her blog roll a year ago. Sam, I swear I did not fudge the numbers, but have to admit that I did have a big grin on my face when your number popped up! Email me with your mailing address and I’ll ship off your water bottle ASAP! Congratulations all of my other winners as well: Debby, Katie, and Marsial.
See you all on Friday, where I’ll have a lot to get you caught up on before I leave for vacation: poison ivy, awards, and a Woo-Hoo!
XO,
Ellen
OMG we are so alike with this one, down to the tripadvisor obsession! I hope you have a fabulous time.
Yes, I actually thought of you while writing this post, Karen! lol I know that you completely understand my pain about making TripAdvisor off limits… I swear, it’s killing me.
I hope you have fun. I also think part of the fun of a trip is planning and anticipation through the research process. It’s okay to plan and research and then abandon the plan. I don’t think you should keep yourself from exploring things online. It helps you get a sense of where you’re going, ideas of what you might like to do… even if you don’t do any of them. It increases your awareness of your surroundings and you can think about what all the other tourists might be doing. I wouldn’t give up researching before a trip.
I agree with everything you just wrote, Michele. That’s why I always do that. However, I need to learn balance; for me right now, it’s all or nothing. I don’t know how to just be ‘normal’ about it, if that makes sense. I’m hoping that by completing this challenge I will see that I’m capable of having a good time either way.
I am a neurotic organizer, especially with trips. I’m known for my extremely long itineraries, even for weekend trips, because I have included every possible detail I might need. This past April, though, I challenged myself to a completely spontaneous weeken getaway – even bought the tickets the day before I left. It was a huge challenge – especially when I had problems with my flights. But I definitely felt stronger for the experience. I just kept telling myself, “No, I have not planned every moment – but this is just a vacation. Let it happen. Enjoy it!”
I am so glad to hear from someone who has actually done this and LIVED to tell about it!! lol
I remember that trip, Mary. I don’t think I remember how it turned out, though. SO glad to hear that you feel like a stronger person for having done it. You’ve even went up a notch and made plans the day before?? I’m so not even close to being ‘there’ yet; you’re so brave!
Oh yeah. I am a trip planner too! By the time I leave, I have a large collection of papers in hand, with directions to and from every possible location that I might possibly visit. Actually I think this is a good thing. But the obsessing I do over making a choice of hotel/flights etc I could do without!
First, Happy Anniversary. How fun to be going on a vacation where you will be folding in another challenge (the kayaking). Way to grow sister!
But
Waitasecondhere! I adore planning. I do not make a rigid plan, but I like to know my options. Otherwise I wander. It allows me to live in the moment because I know what the possibilities are. Oh but I should be cheering you on! LOL Not adding fuel. LOL
Oh glorious ambiguity! Cast ye tripadvisor to the vacation eating wolves! I won’t ask where exactly you are going because if I have been there I will not be able to refrain from talking possibilities. BLARG!
Your challenge is very hard on the planners in the group!
That said. We are sort of doing the same thing this coming week with my friend Chewy. I am taking her with us on a little trip. She is not the spontaneous sort. It will be a big challenge for her to not know what the plan is. And because I am a sadist at heart, I will fully enjoy the pain of the trip! Bwaharharhar!
Be sure to talk to all the strangers while you are vacationing.
I will not be able to take it if you went to the Keys. WILL NOT! I will have to be sedated.
You can TOTALLY do this!!! I’m like you in this too…. but, when my husband and I were planning our wedding (we were 39-40 at the time), we decided to just relax and not let anything bother us. It was rebelling against all the MANY people who told us that there is no way to enjoy your own wedding…. we’re too old for that crap. So, we just took things one at a time and in the end it was great. Lots of stuff went wrong. Turns out it’s not the problems that ruin the event/vacation… it’s your attitude. If you’re stuck in the airport, enjoy that airport, if your luggage is lost, enjoy some new clothes (you hadn’t even thought of luggage being lost, had you? …sorry) Look beside you and remember that you are with the only person who matters and together you can laugh at anything. I find that properly timed snacks help.
I hope you have the most amazing time!!!!
This is an awesome challenge for you, Ellen!
My only travel obsession is lodging. My travel budget being so restricted, I need to get the most I can for fewer dollars. So I end up bouncing from site to site to site reading reviews and searching for deals. Ironically, on a couple of occasions I’ve ended up having to spend quite a bit more because I couldn’t commit until the last minute.
I’m not so much of a pre-planner for everything but I love researching holidays and finding amazing hidden gems i.e. top cheap hotels, excellent restaurants etc.
A good example was a few years ago in Venice when I found an old venetian monastery which had been converted into a hotel. It was hidden away down a side street away from the touristy areas. It was also next to the best ice cream parlour i’ve ever been too and also the best pizzaria too. It was perfect. I’d never have found them if I didnt do the research and would have probably been ripped off staying in a boring touristy chain hotel.So I think there are times when pre-planning is a good idea but i guess it’s good to have a balance.
When I’m on holiday I try and research ‘must do’ things but also have days where i just want to be spontaneous. In Scotland we went to Edinburgh to visit a museum but made sure that after the museum we just went with the flow. It was fun not knowing where we were going or what we were gonna end up doing. It doesn’t always work out but if you’re on holiday then you can laugh it off.
You’ll have lots of fun!
Maybe you should block tripadvisor from your computer…
I used to not care about planning itineraries for vacations then I swung the other way and planned everything for every minute of every vacation day. I have finally settled into a happy 1/2 and 1/2. I do a lot of planning of what is in the area and things to do and I gather all the information together. Then when we go, we just pick and chose from my list as we like. I can try all the restaurants and places that sound great to me or have the flexibility to hang around the bed and breakfast or try a new place that is suggested to us by the locals. Either way, as long as I’m with my husband, I’m having a great time.
Jenn, you are describing EXACTLY how I want to be. That sums up everything I want my vacation to be about; having the knowledge, and then being casual about it. I’m going to remember your comment – and you’re right, as long as you’re having quality time with your spouse, nothing else should really matter. Thank you!
I just like the idea of finding ways to challenge yourself! Whatever it takes! For me, the planning is as much fun as the journey itself, so it’s not a challenge I’d ever undertake. Mr. B’s fall break is already planned and I’m starting to work on Christmas!!
wow. I don’t think I could ever do it. I would probably completely freak out. I’m totally impressed. In awe. I think you’ll have an awesome time too.
I’m not helping, am I…?
Ellen, you are indeed a very intrepid gal! We used to make elaborate travel plans when we were young – then would only follow through with maybe 50% of what we planned. I finally learned to make fewer plans, aside from plane, hotel, and rental car and anything that requires reservations. I love driving vacations. Then I only have to reserve the hotel. I hope you have a wonderful, relaxing,tremendously interesting trip, Ellen, and I can’t wait till you return and tell us all about your adventure!
What a great challenge! I can’t wait to hear how it went! You can do it! You can find the balance! I know it!!!!
Happy anniversary!!
This is an area where I feel like I have pretty good balance. I’m happy to pick a place, get tickets if necessary, book lodging, and have some idea of what’s available to do in the area. I like to get there and understand the lay of the land before I plan specific things to do….
Can’t wait to hear how it works out!
Way to go Ellen! How fun that you are letting the “wind take you wherever”! Hope you both have a wonderful annivesary getaway!!! Look forward to hearing how it all plays out. In the meantime, have a great Thursday.
What a brave thing you are doing! I pretty much go with the flow of things. I like to know what activites are available, but I don’t plan them to happen on a certain day/time. You can do it! Just breathe. Heck….just stay naked at the bed and breakfast with hubby all day. That’s sounds like a winner to me.
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I’m a new reader to your blog and have to say i love this feature, as someone who is overweight and low self esteem, ive got back out of the habit of “challenging” myself with my weekly goals i used to set and this has me motivated to start doing them again so thank you. Im going to go read through old ones now as you have me intrigued! good luck with your challenge!
Sarah
I love your new challenge and can’t wait to read how it goes. What a smart thing to do. I’m going to have to try this. I’m a huge planner too!
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