Did I Hear You Right?

First of all – YES, you’re at the correct blog.  Looks a bit different, I know.  This weekend was supposed to be productive. It was for my husband, but me? Not so much. I spent the majority of my weekend in bed not feeling well while he and his sister were clearing out their Mom’s house. The new owners take possession on July 1st, which doesn’t leave much time. Luckily, the two did great and made a lot of progress.  I am feeling better now that the weekend is over and it’s time to go back to work. Isn’t that always the way?

When you’re not feeling well, a great thing to do is try out new themes for your blog.  I like this one, but I’m not quite sure yet if it’s me.  I’m also going to be playing around with the font size, so the answer is no, your eyes are not playing tricks on you.  Bear with me as I try on a few themes for good measure, OK?  If none of them have a good feel, I may be right back to my old familiar one before you know it. 

Another great thing to do when not feeling well is to be read to.   As you know, I’m a lazy reader.  I’ve always been terrible about reading, even in college.  I much prefer to be read to, which is why I love listening to books so much. 

Currently, my husband and I are listening to the second book of the Hunger Games series, Catching Fire.  But before he came home and settled in to listen with me, I was listening to one of my many David Sedaris books on audio: Naked.  (just so we’re clear, the title of the book is Naked.  I wasn’t naked while listening to an audiobook…see the title below?  I wouldn’t lie :)) 

Anyway, I was reminded of having the opportunity to meet David Sedaris about this time last year when he came to our city for a reading. Let me tell you something:  I stink at meeting celebrities (not that I’ve met many). I tend to do one of two things: either say absolutely nothing and stare at the ground, or say something totally and completely inappropriate.

So, I go to hear him read along with my husband and our friend Kim. David had a signing after the show and Kim bought a book that she wanted autographed. When we arrived at the front of the line, Kim handed him the book while she and my husband chatted with him about this and that.  I sort of hid behind the two of them as they talked.  When Mr. Sedaris opened the book he told her that in addition to signing her copy, he’d also draw her any animal of her choosing. She thought for a moment and said, ‘How about a squirrel?’

‘OK, I can do that,’ he said.

Suddenly, I blurted out, ‘Um…can you draw a squirrel with the mange? We seem to have an awful lot of squirrels around here lately that have the mange.’

He looked at me for a long moment, with this blank stare on his face.  Then, he drew a squirrel in Kim’s book, and the squirrel did appear to have some bald spots on it’s body.  I walked away saying to myself, ‘Really, Ellen? REALLY? That was the best you could come up with?

Ah, well.  Luckily, not that many celebrities come to my town.  Lucky for them, that is.

46 thoughts on “Did I Hear You Right?

  1. Kristen

    ha ha! we have all been there! Glad you are feeling better. I have been thinking about changing mine around since the photo on the header is 34 pounds ago. I need to update my family blog first-I was altering photos last night trying to find a good one.

    Have a great day! can you post a photo of that squirrel drawing lol

    Reply
  2. Karen@WaistingTime

    Well, I’ve never met a celebrity but can only imagine what I’d say or do:) Since I had a designer help with my blog, I can’t just change it. No idea how I’d mess it up if I tried! Some days I am bored and wish I could. But what I’d really like is to understand the code and stuff behind the scenes. All over my head.

    Reply
  3. KCLAnderson (Karen)

    I wish you could see me right now because I am laughing so hard I am crying…I can’t stop!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!! Mange?? I practically spit my plain no-fat Greek yogurt and raspberries right out of my mouth!! Ooohhhh OH!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I can’t stop!! I need to walk away…be back later.

    Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      Karen, I’m glad to have given you a good laugh (I think. I hope your computer is OK! lol) I am loony when it comes to dealing with people I don’t know in general, much less celebrities!

      Reply
  4. Michele @ Healthy Cultivations

    So funny. I’ve tended to gush my adoration when meeting some celebrities but with the ones I wasn’t super-excited about, I was able to say something approaching normal like “it’s nice to meet you” or “tonight’s performance was really incredible.” Other times, it seemed like I just blurted out whatever was on my mind. I figured this is my one chance to talk to these people; so, I’m going to say what I want to tell them.

    Anyway, I think new blog themes are productive. Do you customize? If you do, then you probably spent hours and hours on this. I think that’s a productive weekend.

    Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      I don’t build my themes from scratch, but I to ‘tweak’ them to make them more to my liking. The trouble is learning to do it. HTML is SO over my head. So far I don’t care for the style of any I’ve tried :(

      Reply
  5. Helen

    Hilarious! Glad I’m not the only one.

    I let a semi-celebrity – a 21 year old college basketball player stun me into silence – not once but TWICE. I am a rabid fan of Duke Bluedevils Basketball. When my daughter graduated we stopped at Cameron Stadium after the graduation so my mother could use the ladies room. I was standing there gaping at the tropies and banners and Shane Battier (who now plays professionally for the Memphis Grizzlies) stopped right next to me and said, “Hello.” My mouth openend and nothing would come out. My husband saw the whole interaction from across the lobby and was laughing his butt off. A year later, we are in St. Martin on vacation dining al fresco and who walks by on the street? Shane Battier. Mr. Helen says, “Hey, how you doing Shane?” He stops and Mr. Helen tells him how our daughter graduated the same year, blah, blah, blah and I’m sitting there unable to speak and trying not to pee my pants. Sigh.

    Reply
  6. Greg (Transformed and Scaled)

    Always fun trying hard not to make an ass out ourselves when meeting celebs(I’ve met a few through work).
    Love that you’re experimenting with your blog theme. It sounds like a good way to re-invigorate yourself; shake things up a little so it’s not the same old, same old. I’ve done so much customizing of my theme that I think if I changed themes at this point I’d totally break my blog…
    BTW, I think the mange addition was a stroke of brilliance. Keep him on his toes. Don’t want those celebs getting complacent.

    Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      I know you’re not one to name-drop, Greg….but, I’d pretty much guess that you’ve met your share of celebs. Thanks for not calling me a complete doofus, by the way. I still can’t believe I said that. Oh, well. I met Joe Montana once (a retired football player here in the US) once by practically knocking myself out while on a plane. I guess a simple handshake and a ‘hello, how are you?’ would make for a pretty boring story so I should be grateful.

      Reply
  7. roxie

    Funniest thing ever! Squirrels with mange. I shall forever link me, David Sedaris (a personal fav of mine) and mangy squirrels in a weird three-some.

    I’m with Cara-Mae – I like the new look, just don’t know if it’s “you”. Of course, I hate change ;-)

    Hope you are back up to snuff soon.

    Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      Oh, Roxie – I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing! lol
      I put that theme out to the ‘no’ pile, along with about 3 or 4 other ones. Don’t like this current one, either. I’m giving myself a week. If I don’t feel good about one by then, I’m just going back to my old one for now. Feel free to give a thumbs up or down if you see one that catches your eye. I could use the feedback!

      Reply
  8. Sable@SquatLikeALady

    I like the new look!!! It feels kind of autumnal to me though.

    Your squirrel story just made me snort coffee out through my nose (um — OUCH).

    I am similarly afflicted when it comes to meeting politicians. I interned in DC for a summer several years ago and got to meet Sen. Kennedy, for whom I had 598776 questions. And I promptly forgot all of them and looked like an idiot. Oh well.

    Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      OK, so I’m not the only one who’s brain goes out to lunch. Good to know! I would think meeting politicians as almost worse than celebrities – they have way too much power!

      Reply
  9. KCLAnderson (Karen)

    Okay I am back…I wanted to say that I like the new theme…it’s dramatic. :-)

    I’ve met my fair share of famous people and try to handle it as if it’s not a big deal…I figure they really don’t like to be fawned over. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t had my share of staying crazy nutso things…just not to famous people LOL

    Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      Thanks, Hanlie. You and I are a lot alike when it comes to themes….we know the perfect one is out there….it’s just finding it!

      Reply
  10. teresa

    That’s so funny. I thought you were going to say that he looked at you and knew you were just the kind of brilliant he liked. Maybe he just thought it.

    Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      Teresa, that comment just made my day. Thank you for saying something so nice like that. I needed you on the car ride home from the reading!

      Reply
  11. LauraJayne

    Love the new theme – sometimes a new theme helps to inspire my posts (although they may not read inspired), but a change always picks me up!

    Sort of like rearranging my furniture, but maybe I’m the only one who finds that to be completely rejuvenating?

    Hope you’re feeling better!

    Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      I’m with you, Laura. Right now we have a lot of my late mother in law’s furniture making it’s way to our home. I’m rearranging like a mad woman. I think that’s what sparked my blog change.

      Reply
  12. Tim

    Ellen! That has just made my day, so so funny!!

    I remember once going for a pee in a pub when a professional footballer walked in and stood next to me at the urinal. I couldn’t help but stare at him because I was surprised. He looked at me which caused me to look down to pretend I wasn’t staring at him and ended up seeing something else! I left pretty sharpish! Probably the most embarrassing moment ever (apart from a few months ago when i was caught in the buff!)

    Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      I just saw that whole scenario play out in my head, Tim. I can’t even imagine what you BOTH were thinking right then! LOL!!
      Thanks for sharing that story :)

      Reply
  13. Jan

    You completely crack me up! I love reading whatever you have to say. :) I’m enjoying this new theme and also excited to see whatever other changes you decide to make. It’s fun to experiment.

    Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      Thank you, Jan. This post was completely off-topic, I know…but I had to share it once I pulled it out of my subconscious where I’d obviously buried it out of humiliation!! lol

      Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      Jenn, I wish I could say that I said something profound that made David take out his notebook and begin writing down everything I had to say. Only in my dreams.

      Reply
  14. Mary

    You know, having read tons of his stuff, I bet he really loved it. In “Me Talk Pretty One Day,” he talks about studying French vocab, but not useful things – mostly very specific medical procedures and other odds and ends. If I was going to ask anyone for a mangy squirrel drawing, he’d honestly be the first one I thought of.

    Reply
  15. Munchberry

    Oh my Gosh. Gave me a good laugh right there at the end. Mange. What the?

    I love listening to Sedaris books on tape. So much better than my voice I use when I read them which is saying something because I usually like my reading voice.

    Anyhoo. So. The new blog pic. On the edge of light and darkness? What’s going on there? Step away from the precipice unless there is a fat free chocolate river to land in and a gravy boat to pick you up.

    Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      I do a lot of reading out loud to a blind woman and I could never duplicate the kind of job he does reading. He’s pretty brilliant.
      As for the theme, that one is already history. Don’t like this current one, either. I hope to find something I can live with SOON!

      Reply
      1. Munchberry

        I bet you could if it were your own writing.

        As for the newest blog theme and a thought about the original You know what is good about switchin’ things up? Well, for you – I think getting off that “page in today’s diary” may relieve you of some of the stress you might be feeling about keeping a daily jot and for keeping a theme. Scrub that out and reboot with something that makes you serene and all happy-like. I liked the girl in the wildflowers except the head was all cut off – very Marie Antoinette meets flowerpower love in. I like this subdued theme. I am still troubled by your empty boxed support team, but I will learn to cope.

        OK Godda go. Just pissed off Mr. Munchberry. I think he is getting ready to start his period. Testy. Har!

        Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      Hi, Steph! Anything by him is hilarious. All true stories from his childhood on. You couldn’t make that stuff up if you tried!

      Reply
  16. Natalia

    Oh my gosh, that is the funniest thing ever!!! In my brain I have my own little movie soundtrack playing at all times and if that had been me, I would have imagined hearing crickets chirping while he stared at me! That sounds like something I would do! :)

    This gave me a great laugh!!! :)

    Glad that you are feeling better!

    Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      Oh Roz, I’ve gone through so many themes between now and the time you left your comment I’m not sure which one you are even referring to, but thank you! It seems like just when I get settled, there is something that doesn’t quite ‘gel’ with what I need it to look like so as you can see, I’ve got another temporary one in place – again! Hope to find something that works, soon!

      Reply
  17. Lynn~Learning Curves Blogger

    OMG, I really think we must be twins seperated at birth!! David Sedaris is my FAVORITE author and I’ve seen him speak/read twice. I got to meet him in May…he signed my book and drew a penguin (no mange though) and he offered to share his Chicken Satay with me (too bad I don’t eat meat). I adore him and his sister, Amy. And don’t get me started on the Rooster!!

    I’ve been fortunate to run across a few celebs…but I’ve always been too shy to approach them in places like a restaurant or plane. Athletes aren’t quite as intimidating for some reason…I once tried to trade my flip flops for Vlade Divac’s basketball shoes when he played for the Sacramento Kings. And I crashed a lunch with Jeff Gordon when I went to see him speak and bought a shirt from the store (sponsor) he was speaking at and when they saw me wearing it they thought I was part of the crew and I got to go “back stage”. =)

    Either way, I get all sweaty and tongue tied. Oh, you crack me up!!!

    Reply
    1. Ellen Post author

      isn’t he the greatest, Lynn? I just adore him (which is why I couldn’t speak like a normal person!) too intimidated, I guess. I’d love to be able to write half as well as he does.
      Oh, and Rooster – OMG, have you listened to him read about Rooster? It is NOT the same as reading it for yourself. You have to actually hear him do the southern drawl. If you haven’t had the opportunity to listen to him on audio, do it while you’re out on a run sometime. It’s totally worth it.
      Love reading of your experience with him, btw. How cool that you’ve had these experiences with other celebs as well! I met Joe Montana once…another story for another day (I type as I shake my head and cringe)

      Reply
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