Since this is a holiday week and I am a tad disorganized, I am foregoing my regularly scheduled topic-style posts in favor of a more eclectic mix of posts that will hopefully leave you feeling like you know me a bit better. They will be deposited in my Lost and Found category of topics. I hope you enjoy.
When I was heavy, my daily meals looked a little something like this:
Breakfast: chocolate chip pancakes with pure maple syrup; biscuits and gravy, or sugary cereal with 2% milk and a couple of pop tarts.
Lunch: a McDonalds quarter pounder with cheese, french fries and a regular coke; chicken salad sandwich on a croissant with potato chips, or a jumbo-sized chocolate muffin (or) cinnamon bagel with walnut cream cheese and a large, hot coffee drink from Panera.
Dinner: Chicago-style stuffed pizza and a regular Dr. Pepper; homemade fettuccini alfredo with garlic bread and a baked potato smothered in sour cream and butter, or take-out cashew chicken with pot stickers and fried rice.
Oh, and add to lunch and dinner some kind of dessert – either homemade cookies, cheesecake or donuts.
Notice you don’t see any fruits, vegetables or grains in any of the above-mentioned foods. If I did (gasp) choose to eat a salad there would be so much cheese, croutons and full-fat dressing smothered on top you wouldn’t know there was any lettuce underneath.
I ate like that for years. Thank goodness I didn’t have a heart condition or diabetes. If I had and kept making those same food choices I could easily be dead right now.
Fast forward to the year 2010. My diet has changed so drastically, it embarrasses me to admit I ever ate that way, much less admit that the photos on my blog are pictures of me. My diet for the past several years includes vegetarian burgers, fruit of all kinds, squash, tofu, hummus, hormone-free chicken, fiber cereal, wheat pasta, couscous, almond milk…you get the point.
Don’t go handing me the Healthiest Eater of the Year award just yet, though. I don’t think I will ever, EVER break free from my addiction to carbs. My father worked in a bakery and I grew up on fresh-baked breads and chocolate. To this day, the smell of yeast would literally pull me down a dark alley if that’s where it was coming from.
My biggest difficulty, the monkey on my back – the forever thorn in my side is fighting the urge to eat dessert after a meal. And no, a small Hershey’s Kiss doesn’t cut it. I want a slab of cheesecake; a plate of donuts; a bowl of Ben and Jerry’s. I have tried every possible trick known to man but if I haven’t conquered it in over 5 years, I doubt I ever will.
Since my husband never knew me at my heaviest, he cannot comprehend that the person in those photos is me. A meat and potatoes man, he pokes fun at my attempts to slip him a brownie that’s been made with black beans and always asks, ‘What’s in this?’ while giving it a big sniff before taking his first bite. He’s a trooper though, that man.
I am still searching for that magic recipe that will satisfy my sweet-tooth. The perfect fat-free/sugar-free chocolate chip cookies that I’m pretty sure doesn’t exist, or the decadent low fat/low sugar flourless chocolate cake that tastes just like the kind you get at Italian restaurants.
Mmm………a girl can dream, though.
I was just thinking about this yesterday as I was preparing my meals. Doesn't mean that I don't like that other stuff, but I also love lots of the healthy stuff. As a person whose idea of a great vegetable was potatoes or corn, I could never have imagined the veg that goes into the shopping cart these days.
Oh, and I'd never seen all your pictures nor did I know your story – great job! You look awesome.
Thank you, Roxie. It is amazing how habits form (especially ones that I never, ever thought would). The fact that I eat tofu means there is truly hope for us all! LOL
I think most of us have one thing that we beat back all the time. It's probably dessert for me too. I have found that sometimes if I wait a bit after dinner then have a nice cup of hot tea or coffee or even a low calorie hot chocolate, it settles me and then I'm not looking for that little bit of sweet. But the the main thing with me is that I don't even want a substitute so I've been trying to just learn to be reasonable with a little bit of the real thing – on occasion.
I am a big tea fan too, Helen. I love the dessert teas and try to calm the 'sweet monster' within by drinking a lot of things like that. I know that a lot of people are able to get past it and then not miss it but that unfortunately never happened to me. I think I'll always have an issue with things like this. You're right though, moderation is truly key – and lots of planning!
I can so relate to your past eating habits. One of my biggest problems was leaving school or work, going through McDonald's on the way home, and THEN eating dinner at home later as if I hadn't eaten already. Now, I haven't been to McD's AT ALL in close to three years!!!
Things change, people move forward, and I'm so grateful.
I agree, Michele. Oh, and I've done the whole, 'Oh, but I haven't had dinner yet' thing, too. Fast food is a big no-no for me now. Mostly because I get a huge stomach ache afterwards!
I'm a carb lover too. If you can find a brownie recipe that is low carb, low fat, etc., please let all of us in Blogland know what it is! I can seriously relate to your past eating habits. When the going gets tough in my life, going back to those old habits is the first though that enters my head.
Jane – you have presented me with a challenge and I'm here to say that I am UP FOR THAT CHALLENGE!! lol If there's a recipe out there for good-tasting, low fat brownies I WILL find it and pass it along to you
Avocado chocolate pudding is pretty good. Still high on calories but it has healthy fats…
I have never in my life heard of Avocado Chocolate Pudding…..I think if I gave that one to my husband, it would push him over the top LOL
I'm intrigued though and am going to search for it!
At the moment I am at the stage where I am forcing myself to eat vegetables and salad instead of chips etc. I don't dislike veg or salad but I would rather have something else but obviously I also know that by eating something unhealthy, I won't lose weight.
How did you get from having a salad with cheese, croutons etc to having just a salad? Did you also force yourself not to put the extras on or was it a case of cooking meals where veg or a salad would compliment the dish which meant you would enjoy them more?
Tim, I will tell you: it had EVERYTHING to do with the dressing – seriously. I tried balsamic vinegar, fat-free ranch dressing – all YUK! I searched high and low for great tasting dressings that were right around the 60 calorie or less mark per serving which is usually 2 tbsp….. and I found them. I don't know if you can get them in the UK but these are my two favorites: LiteHouse Salsa Ranch http://www.litehousefoods.com/products/dressings?…
and Bolthouse Farms Yogurt Honey Mustard Dressing http://bolthouse.com/our-products/dressings/yogur…
Next time I go shopping, I'll have a look for those. I've never really tried salad dressing before but I am always up for trying new things especially if it could help me eat more of it. Thanks for the recommendations
Oooh I'm so with you about dessert after a meal! Sometimes that craving is abated by popping a piece of sugar-free gum (I like really strong flavors like extra hot cinnamon) but other times I just have to have a bite of something sweet:)
Pizza. That's all I'm going to say. :>
I so totally get the part about your Dad working in a bakery, my Dad worked in one too, for years when I was a kid. OMG the smell of fresh bread and pastries just sweeps me right back to my childhood, not only memories of being in the bakery and seeing all those delicious treats displayed but just giving Dad a hug and smelling the flour ya know? He used to bring the day's end products home at the end of his shift, cream, sugared delights or the wholesome fresh baked wheaten bread and we would have had them at breakfast before school the next morning…ahhhh those were the days we could eat what we wanted and burn it off just thinking
Funny though, although I love the memories the smell conjours, I do easily avoid eating the pastries though, because…and I'm not bragging, I prefer either my own or my mothers baking these days, maybe cause I know the work that went into it or because I know exactly how much of such and such went into it more like it 
Awesome post as always Ellen….if I find any holy grail recipies I'll be sure to send them your way
Thanks for that! I do feel like I know you better; I also understand the carb thing. I don't have a good excuse, but I'm always going to crave those suckers.
Thanks for finding me and I am glad I have found YOU too… My chocolate substitute is the sugar free pudding parfaits with the sugar free whip cream… put a few nilla wafers on the bottom and fat free, sugar free pie…….
We all are embarassed to admit how we used to eat! I find in the evening I often need that sweet too! I have some cookies that are low in calories, a nice ginger snap and a cup of tea and often I'm good to go. But it dosen't always work and I'm not looking to change the way I eat to a complete vegan or even vegetarian lifestyle. Just to eat better and enjoy my indulgences.